


Peter and Harold

by mercutiglo



Series: Drunken Penumbirds [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: I don't know how to tag this, I drunk wrote this, M/M, Peter drunk steals a Penguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 00:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17254184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercutiglo/pseuds/mercutiglo
Summary: Peter stole a penguin.This is dedicated to Jay, who came up with the fabulous idea of Peter drunk stealing a penguin, and Clint, who actually fucking drew it and to whom I owe my life.(Aka "don't tell a drunk person about stealing penguins because then they'll find all three penguins they have in their room and send pictures of said penguins and prescribe characters with penguinsonas")





	Peter and Harold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freudiancascade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freudiancascade/gifts), [aroclint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroclint/gifts).



“Peter what in the gods’ name is that noi-” Juno’s sentence was cut short when he walked into the living room at 3 in the morning to see Peter sitting on the floor, a small black and white bird in his lap. Next to him was multiple different kinds of fabric, folded into various patterns, the most prominent of which was a purple sequined fabric that Peter was working with at the time. On the other side of him from the fabric was a bottle of vodka and an empty glass, which Juno took as an explanation as to the rest of the events unfolding on the floor. “Okay, new question. Where the hell did you find a penguin?”

 

“I may or may not have broken into the Hyperion City Zoo and if I did it was definitely 100% worth it. His name is Harold and he’s my best friend now.” Peter looked up from the fabrics, smiling wide.

 

“Okay then, new question. Where the hell did you get a sewing machine?” Juno was really more interested in going back to sleep than anything, but he was also extremely curious as to what wrongs he might have to help Peter right come morning when he woke up to see a penguin and many yards of fabric surrounding him. “And also all that fabric?”

 

“Oh I just kept it all in your closet. There’s been a bin with all of this stuff in it for quite a while. It’s for when I have to make alterations to some of the hideous dresses you get for cases.”

 

“I do not get hideous dresses! Also, I have nothing that matches purple sequins.”

 

“Well, those were for me. See, my good friend Harold and I are going to have matching outfits. He specifically requested a purple sequined top hat. And how could I possibly say no to a face this cute?” He put his hands on either side of the penguin’s face and turned him to look at Juno. The penguin looked more confused than anything else. “Also I had already planned to make myself a purple dress. I’m quite handy you know,” he said, blinking in what was clearly supposed to be a wink, but more of a failure than anything else. 

 

Juno walked over to him, looking down at his handiwork. It was rather impressive, considering the stiff part of the hat seemed to be made simply out of cardboard. He sneakily grabbed the glass and the bottle from behind Peter, taking them back to the kitchen where they belonged. “Peter you know you’re going to have to give the penguin back eventually, right?” he sighed, not wanting to ruin Peter’s drunk party, but knowing that if he spent all this time sewing penguin outfits, he’d be heartbroken.

 

“Oh absolutely, Captain Kahn already sent you an angry text message about me with clips from the security footage at the zoo. I plan to return him tomorrow. It’s merely a matter of what he wears when he makes his stunning return. I’m a fan of this purple but honestly, this turquoise is looking better and better the longer I keep sewing….” Peter’s words drifted off into unintelligible mutters. 

 

All that Juno could do was roll his eyes and go back to sleep, putting in a pair of ear plugs he usually reserved for when the buildings next to his decided to do construction. He wasn’t sure when the next day Peter and his little penguin friend would be functioning, but Juno sure as shit wouldn’t be the one having to respond to Captain Kahn’s message….

**Author's Note:**

> If you support this little drunk fic that marks the beginning of 2019, the kudos/comment/any of the things
> 
> Also I drunk wrote this. there are no red squiggly lines, therefore this fic is valid despite any other potential grammatical errors.


End file.
